But here's what I know:
- There's so much pain and I just want to numb it
- It's both mental and physical pain, I've got this massive headache and I can barely think straight
- From the past I remember that a different pain helps me deflect from the original one, maybe I'll try that again.
- I also wanna drink, I don't know what but I want to. I know I can't because I wouldn't stop.
- I am in bed...
- ... I know the kitchen is full of food that I was about to prepare before we got the news. I know I'm supposed to get up and eat it or at least clean it up but I can't.
- ... I have to pee but that would require getting up.
- ... I look at the lights and it hurts but turning them off would require getting up.
- ... I am cold but I've got clothes on my bed sheets and putting them aside would require getting up.
- ... doing anything would require getting up and I can't.
- The light hurts my eyes, music hurts my ears, I haven't eaten all day but I am not hungry.
- I know I need help but I can't get myself to call anyone.
- I know I'll have to get up to go to class tomorrow but I don't know how.
- I know I've got a group project in the afternoon but I don't know how I can go.
- I know I've got to tutor in the evening but how should I leave my bed for that?
We'll see what life brings.
©Mizz
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